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How to be okay with people not liking you


Watch the video here!

Today I want to talk about CONFIDENCE, and how you can use your anxieties, worries, or shame of your past, as fuel for your confidence, which will lead to caring much less or not at all about the opinions of others.

I know that sounds ridiculous. So first let me talk about 3 HUGE tips that helped on the level surface.

  1. STOP thinking, "I hope they like me". Switch it up, start thinking, “Do I like you?”, Do you enjoy that persons company? Do you enjoy talking to them? This is what your internal dialogue should sound like, “This is exciting, I get to see if I like this person.”, rather than “This is terrifying. I am so scared that this person doesn’t like me.”

 

  1. Be authentic in the way you react and treat other people. Don’t fake laugh, or fake smile. People can sense when you’re being authentic and they are drawn to that. Trying to act a certain way, or blend in wont take attention off of you, instead you will come off as unauthentic and THAT right there will make people not like you anyway.

 

  1. Sharing your insecurities and flaws, instead of trying to be PERFECT all of the time allows you to connect to people on a much deeper level then being perfect and looking perfect. Would you rather have people compliment your perfections or connect with you on a deeper level through shared experiences. This way, you don’t have to hide any part of yourself and this will lead to self-love and self-acceptance.

 

These tips are very helpful if you are wanting some quick fixes for the fear of people not liking you especially at work, parties or family gatherings.

Now onto my change of perspective that really solidified this new way of thinking and behaving.

 

I have spent the last few years doing really intense shadow work, digging into my own psyche and trying to figure out why I was such a monster of a person in my early 20s. It didn’t take long to figure out oh well, the trauma led to depression, I tried to cover up the depression with anger, and that didn’t work so I fueled the anger with alcohol and prepped my life to be one worth ending.

I know that sounds over dramatic and yes, I was very over dramatic

I used to, when I thought about the things that I did during that time, I would feel anxious and embarrassed and kind of continue to punish myself for those things, which led to re-experiencing the emotions that I did back then, anger, anxiety, depression.

So I started to change the way I look at my past.

I created A LOT of enemies, I ruined friendships and relationships with my family, and so I don’t really have much of a choice when it comes to the whole “I want everyone to like me” thing that I used to have, because that’s just not going to happen, it won’t happen. Maybe if I had lived my entire life on eggshells and never hurt anyone, I could still aspire to try to have everyone like me, but that would be exhausting to keep up forever, so I wouldn’t even want to do that. I think its actually easier for me now, to accept the fact that people are not going to like me, people are going to judge me for my past, and people are going to always remember me as that person, and there’s nothing I can do about that, besides knowing for myself that I do not identify with that person anymore.

So I have to accept that. And knowing that some people just aren’t going to like me, and being okay with that makes so much of the anxieties that I felt about the things I did in my past, go away.

I don’t get anxious or depressed now when I think about it. I am instead able to really just see what happened, why it happened, and process that it happened and also that its in the past.

What is important is now, what im doing right now, and no matter if Im feeling a little anxious or depressed or angry, its okay to feel those things, know that its always okay to feel bad in any way, and allow yourself to feel those emptions, because the more you fight it, the worse it gets.

If  you let these things happen, and process and pass then you will have grown as a human being and you will know at all times that you are okay and you’re going to be okay, whether anyone likes you or not, you will realize that doesn’t matter. What matters is if YOU like you, and I bet once you’re able to really forgive yourself and be okay with who you are you will start to love yourself. Because once you start to actually love yourself, care for yourself, want better for yourself. You’ll be amazed at all of the lengths you’ll go, to improve your life.

Ive been incorporating exercise into my life, which still blows my mind. I workout every day, and I feel amazing. I wake up earlier, I eat healthier, I take the time to acknowledge my feelings and I work through them rather than suppress them and drink them away. I make my BED in the mornings lol It's just crazy how much you will start doing for yourself once you've truly learned to love yourself and stop caring what others think.

And incase you do still care what others think at the end of it all, bettering your life in all of the ways that you are truly capable of, will reflect positively on how others look at you.

I use the Asana Rebel App to do my HIIT workouts and yoga, I love it. It was my stepping stone from NEVER WORKING OUT, to now working out every single day. It was quite the journey and I documented it all on my youtube channel, Eclipse Botanica. However, I do hope to continue to share more of the journey here on my blog.

Thank you for reading 🖤


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